it was like a relationship gone bad....

This is a review that I posted to santabarbara.com for Pattaya

It looks like I'm only allowed 200 words for this review, and I'm not to be excessively negative and am to use constructive criticism. Here is my review, edited for time and content; I came to the restaurant when it opened, with open, loving arms, and was so excited about the place I could barely sit still when I ordered. My first experience there was decent, though I had to ask the waitress for utensils and a napkin after our food came.

Every trip back since has been worse than the one before it. In the 5 or so times I've gone back, something has always been bad.

1) Panang Chicken Curry - My main complaint is that it lacked the CURRY. It had chicken, it had veggies, it had coconut milk, but as far as I could taste, someone forgot the curry. It should have been marketed as cream of chicken soup. Tip: remember to add the appropriate spices.

2) Buffalo Chicken Strips - It's on the menu (though the waitresses don't seem to be aware of this) but it's only ever been successfully ordered once. Every other attempt to get buffalo chicken strips has been a disaster. Tip: Have your staff aware of and be able to make what you have on the menu.

3) Chicken strips and fries - I ordered the plain chicken strips and 5 chicken strips came out on a plate. 2 normal strips stacked on top of 3 severely burnt strips. The strips tasted distinctly like the refrigerator, and left the aftertaste of garbage in my mouth. I brought this to the attention of the waitress but no attempts at reparation were made. Tip: Do not serve food that is old and/or has been left open in the fridge so long it tastes like the fridge. Or buy some baking soda for your fridge. Also, if a customer finds the dish inedible, s/he shouldn't have to pay money for it.

4) Lights went dim and turned colors while we were eating - I can't speak for other people, but if I sit down in a normally lit restaurant, I am not happy when it suddenly looks like I'm eating in the red light district. Tip: Let your customers see what they are eating, all the way through the meal.

5) Restaurant or club? - Pick one and stick with it. At least during normal dining hours. Had I known that I would be assaulted with ear-busting funk music at 8pm when I sat down for dinner at 7:30, I wouldn't have sat down to begin with. Tip: Do your customers a favor and try to leave their eardrums intact.

6) Utensils should be provided - or at least a disclaimer that states "Bring your own utensils or eat with your hands" should be posted. I've never, NOT A SINGLE TIME, been to Pattaya and not had to ask for utensils after my food arrived. The waitress leaves me sitting at the table for several minutes staring stupidly at my food before I have to flag her down to get something with which to eat my food. Tip: Train your waitstaff to bring items necessary for the consumption of food, or warn your patrons that you're a 'fingerfood' establishment.